we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
last night I used snow as a chaser
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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