She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
