i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
