in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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