is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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