that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
