i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
