Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
