That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
