Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
