I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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