good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
