ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
