So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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