dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
