At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
