Where is the hickey?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
