Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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