my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
