I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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