Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
is that a dick in a sweater?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
