we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Never joke about your clitoris.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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