i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
