So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We just shotgunned beers for America
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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