the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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