i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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