i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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