ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Someone shattered a urinal.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
