Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
