i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
