it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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