My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
