I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
