the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
