I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
