I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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