i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
