careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
