So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
