On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
