Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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