he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
