How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
