We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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