Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
