She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
