Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
