Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
