I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
whose parrot is this?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
