I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
